Splattered Faith

Does Jesus Have A Pocket?

2011-10-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

During a recent worship service, I was moved to tears.   They came suddenly and unexpectedly.   Rolling down my face.. falling uncontrollably from my heart.     As usual, I was unprepared for this event.   I never have tissue in my purse.   Most of the time I don't even have a purse. You would think that having been a Girl Scout leader for 12 years, I would at least follow the most basic of the Girl Scout Laws;   "Be Prepared".    But, not me.

Fortunately, my dear friend was sitting next to me in the church pew and she noticed my dilemma.   She is ALWAYS organized and prepared and I don't know if she ever was a Girl Scout. It is her God given gift to be prepared.

She reached into her ever ready and always well stocked purse and produced a hanky.

Well, actually it was a man's handkerchief.

Seriously?   She actually had a handkerchief in her Mary Poppins bag of surprises.   I am not sure why she carries a man's handkerchief in her purse.   Who in the world carries a handkerchief anymore?

Maybe she believes that at some point in time her big manly man husband will burst into uncontrollable bouts of crying and she will be able to come to his rescue.

Or maybe she has sat beside me in church for so long that she knows that at some point in time I will have the need for a hanky and, as always, be without one.

She has such a sweet heart.    She is a sweetheart.

Nevertheless, she armed me with the handkerchief and I was able to wipe the tears from my face and eyes and produce a smile.    A hanky is sooooo much nicer than a tissue.

She comforted me.

It made me think of Christ.    He is our Comforter.

There are two words used in the Bible which are translated as 'comforter'.

The first is from the root word Nacham which means "to be sorry, console oneself, repent, regret, comfort, be comforted, suffer grief, repent, to comfort oneself, ease oneself."

This is a good thing that we can comfort ourselves. It is healthy to be able to acknowledge our circumstance, to feel regret or suffer grief and comfort ourselves.   We can do this by counting our blessings, by looking for the silver lining, by drawing close to God.

However, self comfort can also be self destructive, such as when Esau was so jealous of his brother Jacob that he actually tried to ease the pain of that jealousy by plotting to kill Jacob. (Genesis 27: 42 When Rebekah was told what her older son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, "Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing you.")

When we think we are wronged , do we comfort ourselves with thoughts of revenge?   of getting even?

On the other hand, when we do something we know is wrong, do we try to justify and console ourselves by wrong thinking and reasoning?   We are sorry, but it has to be somebody's fault.   Do we comfort ourselves by placing the blame elsewhere?

The other word for comforter is from the Greek word "parakletos" which is translated as: summoned or called to one's side or to one's aid; or one who pleads another's cause before a judge, an advocate; an intercessor; or of Christ in his exaltation at God's right hand, pleading with God the Father for the pardon of our sins;   in the widest sense, a helper, succourer, aider, assistant; of the Holy Spirit destined to take the place of Christ with the apostles (after his ascension to the Father), to lead them to a deeper knowledge of the gospel truth, and give them divine strength needed to enable them to undergo trials and persecutions on behalf of the divine kingdom.

Jesus is the Parakletos. He is The Comforter.    The Holy Spirit.

I don't believe that I can add anything to that definition.

Isn't it grand to know that when we are overcome by the cares of the world, Jesus comes to our side to hold and comfort us... to catch our tears in His hands? Does He have a giant handkerchief in His pocket to wipe away our tears?   Does Jesus even have a pocket where He can keep a hanky?

When we are wronged, He is our strength.   When we do wrong and repent, He stands before the Father pleading His blood over us.

He is the Spirit that moves my friend to be prepared with a hanky just when I need it.   It is her ministry to a sister in Christ.    It is Jesus acting through her to be the Comforter.

We get to choose which comforter we reach for in times of stress and trouble. No matter what the circumstance, we have a choice.     Do we choose to comfort ourselves?   Or do we allow THE Comforter to come to our aid?

It is astonishing that a single act of kindness to a hurting heart becomes an act of Holiness.    We can all take a lesson from the handkerchief.   Allow God to use us to reach out to others in their pain and be Jesus to them.

Thank you my sweet friend.

View From The Ninth

2011-08-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

This was my blog heading for a while... when living in Kuwait. I have some ideas for stories from this time period and so those will be posted as from the "View From the 9th" Collection.

VIEW FROM THE 9TH: Currently living on the 9th floor of a building in Kuwait with a view over the rooftops and lives of the city. Hopefully, there will be some inspiration and spiritual revelation from God in my life. "and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17: 26-28

There is a Time to Blow Your Horn

2011-08-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

(From the "View From the 9th" Collection)

Driving on the highways and roadways in Kuwait is an unforgettable experience. Even though there are rules and regulations, no one seems to obey the law. NO ONE. Excessive speed and intentional rudeness abounds.   Road rage is normal every day activity.    What is so great about this is that it gives everybody an opportunity to use their car horns regularly.    I would insert a smiley face in here if I could figure out how. :)

In America, or in my little section of America, we could possibly even forget that we have horns built into our cars, but in Kuwait honking your horn is just part of your daily driving experience. It is EXHILARATING!

Lay on that horn and blow!!!!! Whew!

Since I've been home, I keep looking for an excuse to blow my truck's horn.   Alas! so far I have found no occasion to do so.

However, there are other reasons than inconsiderate motorists to toot your horn.

Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me.”

That's a pretty bold statement.   There is no question that He was announcing to the world WHO He is and WHY He came.

There are so many scriptures where Jesus talks about who He is.   He did not step down or step back. He tooted his horn, told people why he was here.   Before he ascended to heaven he commanded us to tell the world His story.    To blow our horns. Only our horns have to toot about Him, not about us.

Honk!

Some horns are loud. Others are soft & gentle.   Some horns play symphonies. Others play jazz.   They have different sounds and are played in varying ways.

Horns are used to announce something... to get people’s attention.    The children of God are listening for and waiting to hear the horns blowing announcing the return of Christ!

So... toot your horn... Whether your horn plays gently or is blaringly loud, get somebody's attention and then use that opportunity to tell them about Christ.      What Jesus gave to His children is meant to be announced to the world.

Oh... and if you hear me blowing my car horn sometime, don't worry.   I am just reminiscing.

Follow

2011-06-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

At the end of the book of John, Jesus told Peter regardless of what happened to the others he must follow Him. Follow the one 'who knows all things' follow the Maker, the Creator, the Source of all life and breath and power and might and righteousness and wisdom and peace and joy and faithfulness. "Follow Me!" Step out onto nothing and in faith know that Jesus will hold you up. Be set free by relinquishing your entire being to a God who "knows all things".... and this God resides in me! Abandon yourself to God.

Priorities (from the "View from the 9th" collection)

2011-04-17T03:01:00.000-07:00

"Do not make anyone a priority if they consider you an option."

I saw this posted on Facebook today. It made my mind start wandering.

Priorities. Options.

We all have them. We prioritize things and people according to how they affect us. Every relationship is a choice, an option.

Spouses, children, friends, co-workers, strangers. We prioritize them. We put them in a position of importance to our lives. On what do we base their priority status? We base it on options.

What can this person do for me? How does this person affect me? Do I have time for this person? Does this person have time for me? How much am I willing to do or give or be for this person? Do I even like this person? There are a lot more criteria. Every relationship has its own set of options.

It doesn't matter what relationship is involved, we still prioritize people based on options or choices. If that person pleases us, we will do more for them. We will put him/her on top of the list. If that person displeases us or betrays us, we won't give him/her the time of day. Their status can change with a word or an action. Even in the most intimate and close relationship there is an option to end it, to break it, to change it's priority.

God had options. He looked at us from the viewpoint of eternity and saw everything. He saw us in our finest moments and in our deepest darkest sin. He heard us shouting in hatred and anger. He leaned close and heard us speak words of kindness and love. We are naked before Him, although we try to cover ourselves with the torn and tattered rags of our own priorities. There is no thought or word or action that we can hide from Him.

We are an option to Him.

What can we do for Him? How do we affect Him? Does He have time for us? Do we have time for Him? How much is He willing to do for us? Does He even LIKE us? He weighed all these options. We fell far short of weighing in on the side of being beneficial to Him.

In fact, we didn't even tilt the scale.

The weight of Jesus far outweighed any thing we could do or say or be that would make us a priority to God.

Yes, we are an option. He made us a priority.

Why? Because He loves.

" For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that WHO SO EVER believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3: 16)

He did it for Love. He did it for Who So Ever. He did it for me. For you. He did it just because.

He didn't have to do it. He chose. He chose you and He chose me. He put us in priority above His own likes and dislikes, His own comfort and His own life. He sealed it with His Promise. It can never be broken. Love never ending.

Where is He on our list of priorities?

Better Late?

2011-02-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

Another Spring is fast approaching and the year is shaping up.

Being in a reflective mood, it dawned on me that I had not made any New Year's resolution this year. No big plan to start exercising daily and lose weight. No promise to myself to read the Bible all the way through from start to finish. Not even a simple "I'm going to be a better person this year."

And here it is... almost March.

So, thinking that it's never too late to resolve to do better, I am making a list of my top ten resolutions:

10. Be more organized - I put this at the #10 spot because that way I will remember it for at least a day.

9. Do my tax return on time.. if only because I know that will make the IRS suspicious!

8. Take a ballroom dance class - learn to TANGO!!!! Cha!Cha!Cha!

7. Start a hobby (actually I did this but had to leave it at home when I left for Kuwait so that one is already broken)

6. Make new friends (got a good start on that one.. met a lot of new people.. now if I could just remember their names.)

5. Write more often - because I know everybody is waiting breathlessly to read my every word!

4. Get to work early... something I am sure the boss would love and my co-workers would hate!

3. Lose Weight & Exercise-   ahhhh... the ultimate and classic resolution that we all make and we all break.

2. Save Money - well, first ya gotta make money and then ya gotta be a tightwad. yech.

1. Read the Bible all the way through from start to finish - I always get hung up on the "begats" Come on, be honest...the begats. Can't we just skip them thangs?

I could probably add 100 more things that I need or want to do. But I wonder what God would have me resolve to do.

There is the old song: "I have decided to follow Jesus... no turning back.. no turning back."   That should be the only resolution any of us make.   It is the only one that brings everything else into order.   Following Jesus is key to living a life that is exemplary in every way.

So... I'll just disregard the list (as usual) and continue following Him.

Whew!   Talk about relieving the pressure!

Now I can get on with my year.

HOW?

2011-02-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.   (James 1: 3-4)

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;   (Phil 1: 4-7)

How do you count it joy when you are in the middle of one of life's storms?   How in the world could anyone, including God, expect that from us?

A few years ago, I would have answered "It's impossible."   That was before I encountered a God that filled me with such spiritual joy that it overflowed into my daily existence and into everything that I do.

Paul is not speaking about happiness.    He is talking about the joy of the Lord.   That joy is strength and steadfastness.   It is power and it is peace.       "Do not sorrow; for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Neh 8:10)

Happiness is dependent upon circumstance and surroundings.   We are happy when things go our way.   We are happy when life is what we call good.   We are also joyful and thankful in those good times; however, as Jesus said, we are going to have hard times in our lives.    Times when we won't be so happy.

The joy of the Lord gives us the ability to go through any trial, any trouble, any storm ... with the sure knowledge that God is working in our lives just as He promises that He will.   Our joy is dependent upon God and what He has done in our lives. It is not dependent upon our circumstance.

Times of hardship test our faith.   We ask questions that seem to have no answers and have to trust that God knows what He is doing.

Without faith in God, we stumble and break in hard times and crumble in despair when our hearts break.

And although we may feel as though our lives are shattered and broken upon the rocky road we are on, we must keep walking, crawling if need be, because we know that with Jesus there is hope for the future.   And we will look back upon that journey with amazement and wonder in the mighty and loving God that brought us through it. We will realize that God does not make mistakes and we know that there will be a story to tell, a testimony of God's work and His faithfulness. That gives us cause for great joy even in the middle of our pain.

Also, during life's valleys, God is perfecting us... perfecting our faith.   He is growing us into the person He planned us to be; "perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

So rather than thinking that God let the devil after us to mess up our lives, we should look at our valley as an opportunity for growth and testimony.     You know... "what the devil means for bad, God means for good."

There is nothing that happens in our lives that God does not know about in advance.   He has a plan and a purpose for us.   His plan was in effect before ever we were born and He is going to carry it out in us.    He knows our past, present, and future.

Are you saved? Are you born again?   Are you a child of the King?   If so, then you have reason for great joy.

As His child, if we are going through a trial, it is because God has not only trusted us with it.   He has entrusted it to us.        He is using it to perfect us and complete us.   In doing so, He is finishing the good work He began in us.

Has God called you into a ministry or service and you think it will never happen?   It's impossible?   Your life is too confused or messed up and you've taken too many wrong turns?     You've gotten distracted too many times or just plain given up on it? Do you envision and pray for a future that you think can never happen?

God has not given up. He has not lost sight of you where you are.   His plan for you has not changed.   Your circumstance is part of His plan and He trusts you in it. He has given you the measure of faith required to see it through.    It is not up to you to complete it.   He is the one who does that.   But you must participate by acknowledging Him and allowing Him to do His work.   You must participate by standing firm in His word and by rejecting satan when he lies to you.

Take joy in knowing that whatever your situation, God is acting for your benefit and on your behalf.   He is completing you.

On the Altar

2011-02-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

"I am nothing but sharp edges and splinters.. shards of a splattered and shattered faith, using those shanks and points to keep His love at a distance so I don't have to face Him. Yet He allows Himself to be pierced and bloodied once again as He draws me close, holding me in His arms of love and grace and pulling those spears and swords into His body and heart as He covers me. How can He stand it? How can He stand me? "

I wrote these words one 2:00 a.m. morning about five years ago. It was a time when my life was broken and I felt that I had nothing left to give. Nothing but pain.

Looking back, I see the hand of God in my life, shaping me and changing me into the person He created me to be. Growing me. Growing my faith. Growing my confidence and trust in Him.

The following hymn (written by Elisha Hoffman ) comes to my mind with new understanding of the lyrics:

You have longed for sweet peace,
And for faith to increase,
And have earnestly, fervently prayed;
But you cannot have rest,
Or be perfectly blest,
Until all on the altar is laid.

Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul.

Would you walk with the Lord,
In the light of His Word,
And have peace and contentment alway?
You must do His sweet will,
To be free from all ill,
On the altar your all you must lay.

O we never can know
What the Lord will bestow
Of the blessings for which we have prayed,
Till our body and soul
He doth fully control,
And our all on the altar is laid.

Who can tell all the love
He will send from above,
And how happy our hearts will be made,
Of the fellowship sweet
We shall share at His feet,
When our all on the altar is laid.

I laid my life in the hands of Jesus. He has not disappointed. He has not let me down. Ever. He suffered for me and with me personally. I gave Him my future, my past, my present. He owns it. He owns me.

He, in turn, and as the song says, has given me peace and contentment and a happy heart. The altar of His love is the crucible that changed my life.

Pardon My Scroogosity!

2010-12-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure why, but it seems that I always go through a Bah! Humbug! stage at Christmas.   At some point in time, it is going to pop out of me and splatter all over whoever is nearby.

Maybe it is the rush of shopping and planning and hoping.    Possibly it is the realization that another year is past and things planned are left undone, things hoped for were not realized.      Maybe it's knowing that so many of those I love are broken hearted.

Regardless, the "Scrooge" comes out of me and begins his ugly banter.

Of course, once I realize what has happened, I stop.   I apologize to whoever has been hit with the shrapnel of my Scroogosity.   And then I begin to enjoy the season.

Christmas! Christmas!    What a marvelous time of year!     The birth of Christ is celebrated or acknowledged by the entire world.    Believers and non-believers alike are all affected by the hustle and bustle, the shopping, the un-ending buffet of goodies and treats and the wonder in a child's voice!

Whether you are singing a Christmas hymn or a silly Christmas jingle, the tunes are in your head.   The sounds of Christmas are everywhere!   The stores are playing Christmas carols as you shop.   Your car radio is inundating your ears with the melodies.   You find yourself singing along!

We can not get away from Christmas.   All you Scrooges are fighting a losing battle.

Christmas!   With the birth of Christ, the hope of the entire world is fulfilled.    God sent His only Son in the form of one of us.   A baby.   A little boy.   A Child.   A Teenager.   A young man. A living breathing human being.     What an amazing life He lived!    His life is inexplicable, unexplainable, beyond understanding.   He is wise beyond our imagination.   He heals the sick and broken hearted! He comforts!   He provides!   He brings the dead back to life!

Then... then He did something so far outside the box of religion that it has had all of humanity in an uproar ever since.

He died.     God's Son laid down and died.   God's Son suffered miserably and died.      He did it deliberately.   He did it on purpose.    He did it to show us how much He loves us. He did it so that He could clean us up and turn us into the pure and clean spiritual beings we were created to be. He did it so that He could come back three days later the victor over Death and Hell!

Scrooges, take heed!   Disappointed ones, listen up!    You broken and hurting hearts, REJOICE!

Whatever your circumstance, you have every cause to celebrate Christmas! Without Christ's birth, there would be no sacrifice.    Without His sacrifice, there would be no resurrection.   Without Christmas we are lost to the darkness.

So please... pardon my Scroogosity and join me in the celebration of Christ's birth.

SHOUT FOR JOY all the Earth! Rejoice! Praise God for the most wonderful Gift of all time!

Christmas!

..

Count Your Blessings!

2010-11-15T15:44:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Holidays are rolling around again and we all start to think about what we have to be thankful for.

Our lives are so busy, working, playing, shopping, housework, yardwork. There is always something that occupies our time and our minds.

But stop and take a breath... count your blessings and remember to thank God for them. Blessings: Salvation, family, air, health, running water, a roof over my head, a place to lay my head, food on the table..... I was in this mindset this afternoon and remembered a story I had written last year. I wanted to share it again. It's a reminder that so many in the world do not have the simplest things and also a reminder of how the simple things can be the greatest blessings.

Happy

Tallil. Iraq. It's dry and dusty and dirty and getting hot.

Nothing here is easy. Everything requires a bit more effort and planning than normal. Transportation is either one of the unit buses or a public bus. If I take the public bus, I go to the bus stop and wait for it to arrive and hope that I catch the right one. Hah! There are several different bus routes. If I take one of the unit's buses, it's best to make sure to see if anyone else needs a ride somewhere too. By the way, driving one of those 34 passenger buses is an adventure! The roads are ruts made into bigger ruts and potholes. The ride is rough! If you weren't in pain when you got on the bus, you will be when you get off. The main roads that ARE paved are crowded with military folks doing their PT. They are running all over it and you might as well just slow down to a crawl and enjoy.

Living quarters are another matter altogether:

Some have to live in tents.   Some live in trailers without a bathroom or shower. Those are called a "dry chu"   (pronounced chew). The rooms are maybe 10 x 10 and most people have a roommate. The bathroom & shower units are separate and centrally located in an area with several dozen dry chu's.

Some of the chosen few get to live in a 'wet chu".   These are trailer type units that will house 2 people in separate rooms AND you get to share a bathroom. Kind of like a dorm room situation.   The room is maybe 10 x 15.   But it is a single room.. no roommate!

I was one of the fortunates in a dry chu and I DID NOT have a roommate!   That was a huge blessing!   Then.... this week, I got to move into one of the wet chu's. Oh my !!!

Who would ever have thought that I would be so grateful for a 10 x 15 room with a bathroom that I have to share with another person.???

I have a desk made from a wooden crate.   I have a chair that is unique in every way. The chair part of it is the seat and arms from an old broken down office chair.   The stand it is attached to is a small wooden crate.   And I am so thankful for them both! The desk gives me a place to set my computer and my table lamp.   I also use it as a night stand.   The chair allows me to sit in a semi comfortable position while on my computer or watching tv.

This is considered the 'lap of luxury' over here.

In all of this, I am happy and content.

I was walking out of the PX this evening on the way back to the bus. I had a small rug rolled up under my arm and a sack with some electrical plugs in it.   The rug is pretty easy to find, but the electrical adaptor plugs are scarce.   I was pleased with that purchase.   I need them in my new 'wet chu' .

A complete stranger passed by me as I was walking back to the bus and he said "You look happy!?"    I just grinned at him and said "I AM happy!" and kept walking. Then it dawned on me that I really am happy.   In a way that I haven't been in a long time.

It's crazy.
I'm away from my kids and grandbabies and family.
I sleep on a cheap mattress with springs that poke me.
I share a small dingy bathroom with a stranger.
I live in one small room.
I work in a huge wooden crate they call an office with a plywood desk and dirt everywhere.
I don't have a car. I don't even have a bicycle. or a skateboard or roller skates.
It's hot and going to get hotter;   and many more things i can't think of right now.

But I am HAPPY. And what is more is that it shows. Apparently people see it in me.

One of the guys was in the office today and he said something about depression.   I can't remember the exact remark but it had something to do with having somebody in his life to keep him from being depressed and going home to see her.

I told him that I had somebody in my life like that,, and that He is with me all the time. Everywhere I go.

He is the source of my happiness.    And no matter what my circumstance, He is there.

As always, thank you God.

Flag Folly

2010-11-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

This is the story of the kid that was forced to remove the American Flag from his bicycle at the school in California. I tried to call the school to voice my opinion and of course ALL the circuits were busy. I wonder what would have happened if this youn...g man had refused to remove the flag? What would happen if American's refuse to be politically correct?

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/11/11/Student-told-to-take-US-flag-off-bike/UPI-77081289511876/

Okay... I have to bring out my soapbox! How in the world is it politically incorrect to fly an American Flag on American soil at an American school? AND why is it politically correct for this school system to ALLOW hispanics to fly the Mexican flag during Cinco de Mayo? I have nothing against hispanics or Mexico. I have many friends that are hispanic. My problem is with our government and it's current attitude about patriotism, freedom of speech, and constitutional rights that our country was founded on. That our soldiers past and present have fought for. Everytime someone yell's "racist!" "Prejudice" or "Muslim" , the authorities back down. Since when do Americans have to live in fear? Because that is what is happening. We are living in Fear of reprisal for believing in and living the American life of freedom and liberty. It has become a politically incorrect to preach the Bible and moral values. It is politically incorrect to claim your rights as an American citizen, while illegal immigrants are kowtowed to by the very government that is supposed to be protecting the legal citizens of the USA. What about MY civil rights? What about MY beliefs? Yesterday was Veterans Day.. a national federal holiday. Lots of talk about honoring our veterans. The only way to truly honor the sacrifice of our veterans is to take a stand along with them. The mid-term elections are over, but it is not the time to sit back and hope that things go well. It is the time to remain watchful guardians of the Constitution.

It is also the time to REMAIN in prayer for our country, our elected government officials, our schools, our service men and women, and our children.

Battle Ready!

2010-10-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

For forty days, twice a day every day, he swaggered out and shouted to the four winds.   Had he grown tired of battle?   Was he frustrated because no worthy opponent had come forward thus far?

""Why have you come out to line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and you the servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us." And the Philistine said, "I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man, that we may fight together!" (1 Samuel 17: 8-10)

This was the Goliath of Gath... the splendor of the Philistine army.   Ten feet tall, weighing in at over 400 pounds.    His armor alone weighed at least 200 pounds with its bronze helmet, coat of mail, leg armor and bronze javelin.   His spear was as large as a tree branch.

Everyday he created a stir among the chosen people.    No one would dare go up alone against this megalith.   He was more mighty and powerful than any of them.    Good grief! His biceps probably measured 2 feet in diameter!    With his armor, he weighed at least one third of a ton!   Anybody would be a fool to try and take him on alone.     The Israeli soldiers spoke in frightened whispers of his size and might.

Goliath was defiant and intimidating.    He was cocksure of himself and knew he had no equal.   He was the largest of the giants, taller, more muscular, more mighty.    In a land of giants, he was the champion.

The army of Israel was terrified of him.    When he came into battle, they would scatter and flee in horror.

He thirsted for battle!   He was anxious to fight and kill... to destroy his enemy.

The two armies were camped out on mountaintops with a valley between.   The valley of Elah in Ephes Dammim, meaning the edge of blood.    Israel was camped between Sohkoh and Azekah.    In Hebrew, the word Sohkoh means 'hedge' and Azekah means 'a field dug over, broken up."

So Israel was entrenched outside their hedge, between it and the broken ground leading to ephes Dammim, the edge of blood.

Israel was at a standstill... unsure of their fate... unable to defeat their own fear, much less overcome the army and giants standing in front of them.   They had forgotten their past and the victories that God had given.

Except for David.    The young shepherd.    The least of his brothers.   David figured that if with God’s help, he could defeat a Lion coming at him with all his fierce muscle and weight and 20 razor sharp talons, then one ugly giant was a pushover.

King Saul, hearing of David's boldness, and desperate for some solution to his dilemma, called David to his side.   King Saul offered his own personal armor to David.    David tried it on and couldn’t move. This was the armor of a man, a warrior king. It didn’t fit.   He hadn’t tested it. Hadn’t proved it.

He didn’t need it.

David was clad in the armor of God. With him, it was tried and true.    He had spent years in the field perfecting it.    Singing praises to the Lord, spending time with Him.    Fighting off the bears and lions that would come against him.       He was comfortable in this God armor.    It fit well and he trusted it.      He had taken it’s measure.   It was reliable.

Goliath issued this challenge to Israel twice daily... "One on one combat!   Winner takes all!"

Today would be his final challenge!

Except it wasn’t one on one.    This giant’s shield bearer went before him. He carried a shield and a sword.    He was a giant also.   He had to be a giant.    He carried the shield and sword to protect Goliath.   If he was a normal sized man, what was he gonna protect?   Goliath's kneecaps?

He’s there to ward off attackers so that the Goliath has room to throw his deadly spear.   The giant of Gath needs a giant of a body guard!

Here is young David, alone with a slingshot and five river stones.   Up against two grizzly grouchy bullying giants!

Goliath is almost insulted that his only opponent is a boy. One with no armor and no weapon, at that.   Practically naked before him with no protection.   He’s taking David’s measure. Goliath is using the wrong measuring stick.

He didn't consider that God had already taken David's measure.

Here is the young Israelite without any visible means of defeating this armor clad, battle seasoned, oversized warrior.

But the battle is over before it ever starts as these bold and defiant words explode from David’s mouth!

“I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied! This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.   Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear, for the battle IS the Lords and He will give you into our hands.”

With that exclamation of faith, David races towards Goliath, swinging his loaded sling. With the hedge behind him and the broken ground before him, he almost flies towards the edge of blood.   Towards the enemy of his people and of his God.

If Goliath was cocksure of his own might and fighting prowess, David was even more confident in his God's ability to conquer any enemy.

With one throw from his sling, David knocked Goliath out with a stone.    The giant fell unconscious to the ground.   His insulting tongue stilled.   His powerful body was rendered limp and useless.

David took the sword from the champion of the Philistines and before the amazed eyes of the two armies, he cut off the head of his enemy Goliath.

The completely demoralized Philistines ran away like frightened children.     If one Israelite boy without any visible armor or weapon could defeat their champion, what could the entire Israelite army do against them?   What would the God of Israel do with them?

They were totally defeated.

If the Israelites had forgotten all that God had done for them, David’s faith and miraculous victory reminded them.   Once Goliath was dead, Israel marched forward and defeated the Philistines.

We all have giants that come against us.      Finances, Family problems, Work, Sickness, Death, Divorce, Disappointments.      Just like a giant Goliath, they don’t come one on one.   They hit you from all directions.

We have everyday giants.   We have monumental life altering giants.    They all come from the same place.   The devil doesn’t fight fair.      He sends his sword bearing shield bearer before him to trick us, confuse us, distract us and keep us from focusing.    The little things.   We think we can handle it.   Then BAM! He shows up with deadly force!.     The thing that get us right in the heart.   His javelin or spear.   We lose our job.   We lose a loved one.   We have a life threatening illness.    We’ve been double teamed. and we could so easily be struck down, but for the Armor of God.

Paul tells us to put on the armor of God... He never once told us to take it off.     In Romans 13: 12 he calls it the “armor of light”.   Unapproachable Light.

When you are wearing this armor, you are not only protected, but you stand out as a victorious warrior!

Our armor is our faith. It is our sure knowledge of the faithfulness of God.

Life events take our spiritual measure. Like David, before we go into our daily battle, we should make sure we have a good fit.   We should remind ourselves of the times that God has come through for us in the past and that He will do it again now.

Don’t try to enter into a battle wearing some body else’s faith.    We’re each given a measure.   It is formed and forged just for us. We need to test it and try it and become so accustomed to it that it fits us like our own skin.

Like the Israelites, we tend to forget.
David took Goliath’s armor and kept it.    In my imagination I see it standing in a focal point in his home. A daily reminder of how God came through for him and for Israel.

There are many times in the Bible when it is mentioned that the Israelites made a marker , set up stones, as a reminder of what God had done at a particular time or place.

I have several items in my home that are reminders to me of what God has done in my life.   A bowl of seashells on my coffee table.   A Santa Claus figurine holding a sign with the word "JOY".   A photograph of a beach at sunrise.   These are all reminders of the huge things God has done in my life and of His promises.

The next time you go into battle, be prepared.    As your enemy takes your measure, race toward him or it with the sure knowledge that God is with you and has gone before you.

Call to mind what God has done in your past and trust Him for what He is doing in the present.      When the victory is won give Him the glory!    Then just in case you're forgetful like the Israelites, make a note of your victories.   Keep a reminder, something visible, as a reminder of how God did a miracle in your life.

And give Him the glory!

Breathless!

2010-10-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

The king is enthralled by your beauty.   Honor him, for he is your lord. (Psalm 45:11)

Yes!   The King thinks you are beautiful.   He looks on you and can't take his eyes or His mind off of you.

We may look in the mirror and see every flaw. He looks at us and sees an extension of Himself.   He sees in us the beauty of His creation and the perfection of His plan.   He sees His bride in preparation for the wedding day!

His excitement over us spills into the heavens and He gives us gifts of beauty!      He honors us with His presence and encourages us with the intimacy of His voice calling our names.

He does battle for us and defeats every foe!    He shares His heart and knowledge with us and draws us near in an all consuming love.

With playful laughter and open arms, He lifts us up in our hearts and fills us with joy.    He whispers sweetness in our ears and His music resonates through our minds.   His fragrance is breathtaking and falls on our skin like dew anointing us with His essence.

Yes, God IS enthralled by our beauty.     He loves us so deeply that He placed His most beautiful and precious gift inside each of us that call on His name.   The gift of Himself... His spirit.

What an incredibly wonderful God!        He makes us beautiful.   He leave us breathless! We are His heart's desire.

And He is ours.

Anticipation

2010-10-13T17:25:00.000-07:00

Glimmering rays of light begin to shine in the distance, slowly increasing in brightness until the dark dawn is become daybreak. Deep velvet purple gives way to pink and orange hues of light with splashes of red ochre drawn from the blazing heart of the sun itself. The reflection thrown back from the surface of the deep expresses mutual admiration from earth to the heavenly body which is just beginning to reveal its daily glory.

As he surveys this majestic display, the artist smiles to himself in appreciation. "Another masterpiece! Seems a pity it only lasts for those few minutes."

"Aah.. Well. Tomorrow's dawn will come. The canvas will be waiting."

Water splashes and foams against his feet, gently calling out to him as he casually moves a little farther away from its endless voice.

Embers glowing, the fire he built before sunrise is perfect for braising that catch of fish.
Occasionally prodding the fire with the branch of driftwood he has picked up on his morning walk, he sits and waits patiently for his friends to arrive.

Noticing the sand on his feet, he smiles and brushes it away. Every step along the shoreline had brought with it grains of sand and pebbles clinging to his bare feet, as though the sand itself leapt up to take part in his early morning activities. While he walked, his feet had compressed the sand beneath, forming unique prints in that soft moist earth.

Strapping on sandals, he sits cross legged and looks at his legs and feet, once again amazed at the intricacy of his physical body. The creator within surveys and approves such marvelous handiwork.

Softly humming to himself and watching the waves, he recalls memories of these waters. He has seen them raging and pounding! He has seen them still as glass. Today they are soft and gentle as a lover's caress against the shore. Playful gusts of wind blow in his dark hair, and with salt crusted fingers, he pushes his hair behind his ears to keep it out of his eyes and face.

Almost absentmindedly, he places a few fish on the fire and flattens bread on the hot stones ringing the burning coals.

Squinting his eyes against the morning sun, intently he watches the horizon, knowing it won't be long till he sees the boat coming in.

His friends will be surprised to see him. It's been a while. They may not recognize him. For certain, they are not expecting him. This thought brings a chuckle and a grin to his weathered and tanned face. His anticipation grows with each second in time. There is so much he wants to say to them. So much to share.

Off in the distance, the sail finally appears. It nears the shoreline and he quickly comes to his feet. Cupping his hands to his mouth, he calls out loudly to the men in the boat, "You have caught no fish! Cast your net one more time on the right side of the boat!"

Doubtful that it will work, but almost desperate, for some reason the exhausted fishermen do as he says and their net is filled with fish! It is so full they can not carry the load. They will have to drag it to shore. It's an unexpected and amazing catch, and they begin to question their turn of good luck.

Suddenly comprehending what has happened, the fishermen recognize the man who is still standing on the wind driven sandy beach.

"It's the Lord! It's the Master! Jesus!"

Earth, wind and sea seem to echo their cry of recognition. "The Master is here!"

Without hesitation, Peter dives into the water and heads straight for Him, not waiting for his fellows in the boat. Deprived of his companionship for too long, the men all anxiously head for the shore and their friend. His conversation and presence is what they have been thirsting and hungering for.

"Come!" Laughing for joy, He shouts once again to his friends across the blowing salt breeze. He can't wait to see them and talk with them again!

"Come and break your fast!"

It's All Joy

2010-10-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.   (James 1: 3-4)

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;   (Phil 1: 4-7)

How do you count it joy when you are in the middle of one of life's storms?   How in the world could anyone, including God, expect that from us?

A few years ago, I would have answered "It's impossible."   That was before I encountered a God that filled me with such spiritual joy that it overflowed into my daily existence and into everything that I do.

Paul is not speaking about happiness.    He is talking about the joy of the Lord.   That joy is strength and steadfastness.   It is power and it is peace.       "Do not sorrow; for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Neh 8:10)

Happiness is dependent upon circumstance and surroundings.   We are happy when things go our way.   We are happy when life is what we call good.   We are also joyful and thankful in those good times; however, as Jesus said, we are going to have hard times in our lives.    Times when we won't be so happy.

The joy of the Lord gives us the ability to go through any trial, any trouble, any storm ... with the sure knowledge that God is working in our lives just as He promises that He will.   Our joy is dependent upon God and what He has done in our lives. It is not dependent upon our circumstance.

Times of hardship test our faith.   We ask questions that seem to have no answers and have to trust that God knows what He is doing.

Without faith in God, we stumble and break in hard times and crumble in despair when our hearts break.

And although we may feel as though our lives are shattered and broken upon the rocky road we are on, we must keep walking, crawling if need be, because we know that with Jesus there is hope for the future.   And we will look back upon that journey with amazement and wonder in the mighty and loving God that brought us through it. We will realize that God does not make mistakes and we know that there will be a story to tell, a testimony of God's work and His faithfulness. That gives us cause for great joy even in the middle of our pain.

Also, during life's valleys, God is perfecting us... perfecting our faith.   He is growing us into the person He planned us to be; "perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
So rather than thinking that God let the devil after us to mess up our lives, we should look at our valley as an opportunity for growth and testimony.     You know... "what the devil means for bad, God means for good."

There is nothing that happens in our lives that God does not know about in advance.   He has a plan and a purpose for us.   His plan was in effect before ever we were born and He is going to carry it out in us.    He knows our past, present, and future.

Are you saved? Are you born again?   Are you a child of the King?   If so, then you have reason for great joy.   Because God has a plan and a purpose for you.

As His child, if we are going through a trial, it is because God has not only trusted us with it.   He has entrusted it to us.        He is using it to perfect us and complete us.   In doing so, He is completing the good work He began in us.

Has God called you into a ministry or service and you think it will never happen?   It's impossible?   Your life is too confused or messed up and you've taken too many wrong turns?     You've gotten distracted too many times or just plain given up on it?

God has not given up. He has not lost sight of you where you are.   His plan for you has not changed.   Your circumstance is part of His plan and He trusts you in it. He has given you the measure of faith required to see it through.    It is not up to you to complete it.   He is the one who completes it.   But you must participate by acknowledging Him and allowing Him to do His work.   You must participate by standing firm in His word and by rejecting satan when he lies to you.

Take joy in knowing that whatever your situation, God is acting for your benefit and on your behalf.   He is completing you.

I'VE BEEN GOOGLED!

2010-10-08T21:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever googled your own name?

I did.

Well... first I googled my AOL screen name. Elredcrow.

Got amazing results.

My computer popped up with this question: "Did You Mean Oldcow?"

No. I am not kidding.

Stop laughing. It's not that funny.

Not to me anyway.

Really.

After that depressing and demeaning result, I was almost afraid to type in my real name. Finally I got up the courage and entered my name in the search engine.

Kathy Ellis.

Incredibly enough, pages and pages of information with the name Kathy Ellis, and variations thereof, appeared on my screen.

Searching each page to see if any of these doppelgangers actually referenced little old me, I quickly became discouraged and gave up after about the 35^th screen.

It seems there are several of me out there. Some are doctors. Some are executive directors. One is an award winning swimmer. One is an oceanographer.

Another of my many identities entered a story in a local newspaper in Pflugerville USA about soldiers. No I didn't read it. She obviously doesn't read my stories. She can't. They can not be found under my name or otherwise.

Hundreds of Kathy Ellis references abound on the world wide web. If fine tooth combs are still available at the local five and dime, you might buy one if you are interested enough to look me up. Who knows? Maybe I will show up on the kazillionth screen if you can hold out that long.

Apparently I am non-existent, nada, invisible, a figment of my own imagination. A chimera, if you please.

Being non-existent gives me great freedom, I suppose. Invisibility has it's perks.

I just can't think of one right now.

If I had an inflated sense of myself, it is gone. I guess that happens when you realize you are no where to be found.

Coming to terms with my lack of uniqueness has not been easy. In my effort to be significant in the world, one might say I have been 'put in my place.'

If you find that place, will you please tell someone? I am waiting to be found.

Depression could set in and take up residence in my spirit if I did not believe that my significance is found in the Lord Jesus. He whispers to my heart of how much He loves me. He sings songs of joy over me in the night and wakes me with memories of them in my mind. He fills my life with vision and purpose.

I googled the web.

Bet if I could google the Lamb's Book of Life, my name would easily be found. My Savior knows right where to look in that book for me. He knows exactly where I am all the time, and He is always thinking about me.

If I go to the ends of the world, He will find me.

I am unique after all!

But I am not alone. Jesus offers His salvation and love to every one. Only He will give you the meaning you seek in your life.

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9: 10

Dwelling Places

2010-10-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend this morning about life, the universe and everything.   Of course, God is the key element there and He was also the central topic in our conversation.

Reflecting back on our past decisions and actions, we discussed both our right and wrong choices and how they have affected our present and our future. You know... Girl talk!    Haha!

Life throws us a lot of stuff.   Some of it just happens and some of it is our own doing.   But regardless, life is a series of ups and downs.    The major stuff, like births, deaths, marriages, divorces, illness... those are the ones that shape our character and our life stories. Yet the smallest incident can have the greatest effect on us.    An alcoholic begins his/her struggle with that very first drink.   An addiction to a drug begins with that first "hit".      A first glimpse at pornography catches the eye and mind.   Life is changed forever by those first "small" occurrences.    Relationships are eventually destroyed.

Eden is a nice place to live.    It's a place where everything is beautiful and the blessings just seem to flow one after the other.    On the other hand, the deepest pit in hell is, to say the least, a tad on the miserable side.   I have been in both places at various points in my life.   I prefer being on the mountaintop of blessings in Eden.     But I don't always get to choose my circumstance.    And I really don't believe that our lives are intended to live continually in Eden.

Let's face it.   We are human beings and we begin to take things for granted when life is good.     That's when sin creeps into our neighborhood and tries to foul things up.    We come face to face with the world of degradation and lies.    Our faith is tested by temptation.     The temptation comes in the form of a circumstance.   Our response to a new situation is the elemental device that God uses to teach and meld us into the likeness of Him. Something changes in our life and we see it as a terrible event, when actually it is the very thing that God uses to shape us into the creation He has planned.

The world was perfect for Adam and Eve.   Yet Adam and Eve were not perfect.    The lying serpent didn't get into the garden by his own strategy.    God saw it coming and allowed it to happen. He knew that Adam & Eve would not withstand the onslaught of lies.   Although they were capable of obeying God, as are we, they were overthrown by this small "first" that forever changed life for humankind.   Or did it just set God's plan into motion?     He knew beforehand that sin would come to destroy His creation and He made arrangements at the beginning of time to send Jesus as the Lamb to be slain.    Only by the blood of Jesus are we, including Adam and Eve, made perfect.

During the last major upheaval in my life (going through the break up of an almost four decade long marriage), I journeyed to Galveston to see the aftermath of Hurricane Ike.   I saw not only the destruction caused by the storm, but also the cleanup crews at work and the reconstruction of the structures and the lives of those affected by the storm.

I wrote the following words in my Bible: "Sometimes it takes the hurricanes, the overwhelming flood, the rot and destruction in our lives.. so that we can be gutted... with nothing left but the framework so God can restore and rebuild our lives anew."

Various paths were set before me during that time of my life.   Choices were made... some good and some not so good.    But none were a surprise to my loving heavenly Father.      He has used each of them to direct me in the path that He REALLY wants for me.   Thankfully, Jesus paved that path for me a long time ago.

Talking with my friend this morning, I reminded her and myself of just how God had changed my life so drastically.    Let's just say she is not living on a mountaintop right now and since I am such a fount of wisdom, I thought maybe I could give some advice.     Lord, I just hope the advice came straight through me from YOU.

I told her that during another one of the most miserable 'pit of hell' experiences in my life, I finally caved in and cried out to God asking Him to restore the joy of my salvation.       Being the gracious and loving God that He is, He granted my request. Others may not know this, but God did a miracle that night!    My life was forever changed by His answer to a simple prayer.     I was still living in a pit... my circumstances did not change.   But God changed something inside of me and I was filled with His joy.    Because of Him, my attitude changed, my heart changed, and I drew closer to Him than I knew was possible.   The pit became a place where God taught me about His love and faithfulness.   His joy gave me the strength to endure.

No, I am not glad I was dwelling in a pit.   It was probably a pit of my own creation. Regardless, who the heck wants to experience pit living?    Looking back, that pit was the circumstance or experience that God used to change my life and bring me to Him.   I am thankful and glad that I finally came to that place in my life where there was nowhere to go but God.

So if you are living in Eden, enjoy!    Beware!   Be Faithful!   One of those 'firsts' might show up and try to drag you out.

But if you are in one of life's pits, remember that you are not alone.   Remember that our God is in control and He is the only one with the power and love to help you survive the pit circumstance and come out strong on the other side.

Nehemiah 8: 10   "....Do not grieve.   For the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Road Trip

2010-10-06T21:32:00.001-07:00

I woke up Thursday morning and debated with myself whether or not to hit the road. My 'vacation' week was winding down. I had cleaned out and organized my little office/computer room. I had traded my car for a pickup. I had taken my tax info by the accountant to FINALLY do my 2009 tax return.

The original plan had been for a road trip to somewhere, anywhere, get away from the hacienda and do something different. But the weather was a bit nasty this week and I postponed the trip to nowhere thinking that I would go later in the week when the rains had gone away.

When that day came, I almost argued myself out of the trip.

But, reasoning that I would kick myself in the rear if I didn't go, I packed my backpack with a change of clothes, grabbed my computer and put the truck in gear.

My pastor's wife, Abbie, had told me about the missions in San Antonio and I had decided that I wanted to see them.

I finally found my way to Mission Concepcion (after going in circles in San Antonio trying to find the right road). It is a beautiful and magnificent building and I took a few pictures. Then I made my way on down the trail to Mission San Jose. I never got to the other 2 missions. I spent so much time on these two.

Lucky me! I arrived on a weekday when the kids are back in school. So there were hardly any other tourists around and I practically had the whole place to myself. I felt like I had gone back in time to an era that has been romanticized by the fog of years.

Life must have been so hard for the Franciscan monks and for their converts, the local Indians. Growing their own crops, milling their wheat. Every basic need required hard work... monumental effort. And on top of the day to day chores and back breaking work, they had to also defend their missions against the Commanche Indians who regularly attacked...killing and stealing from them.

Yet even with all the hardship and danger, they managed to build these wonderful structures. The architecture is beautiful and the statuary and ironwork amazing. Even with all the hardship and danger, the monks managed to carry out their mission of bringing the message of Christianity to these people.

Such dedication to their calling and purpose amazes me. It made me reflect on my own commitment to the calling God has on my life. Would I be willing to go to a strange and foreign land and put my life on the line in order to tell others of Christ?

Missionaries have done this for centuries... Lived and died for the call of Christ.

It's very humbling when you think of it. It is hard to get a perspective on it. There are contemporary missionaries that are living this out even as I write these words. I have been receiving regular email from one for a few years now. She uses code words in her email so that the local government will not know that she is talking about Jesus. I am in awe of their love and commitment to Christ.

I was talking with God about this on the way home tonight. His calling on my life hasn't changed. Study His Word. Share His Word. Write devotionals and share them with others. Teach / speak when given the opportunity. No, His calling on me hasn't changed. But maybe I have been changed by walking a day in the past. Maybe my commitment to carrying out His command is more urgent and solid... more compelling.

The only wild Indians attacking me are my own inadequacies and weaknesses. I am not in fear for my life. I'm not called to a dangerous mission. My God is strong and loving enough to have His hand on missionaries to guide and protect them. I believe He can probably help me out with my shortcomings.

Lord, thank You for the men and women who have lived their lives to bring the love of Christ to the world... Thank You for those that have given their lives in that cause. Father God, keep me mindful of Your purpose for me and help me to be bold to do it. In Jesus' precious name.. amen.

A Story of Uriah...The Lord is My Light

2010-10-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

King David. THE King of Israel. His army is at war. He stays behind relaxing. He takes a little R&R in the luxury of his palace while his men are deprived of their wives and children's company. While his men fight and are injured and die in battle.

What has happened? This is King David. The man that leads his army into the fray in the name of the Lord God Jehovah! The man that God has blessed with victory after victory. Yet here he is at home when he should be leading his army.

He's restless.... can't sleep. So he rises from his bed and walks on the roof of his palace where his eyes fall on the beauty of a woman bathing. And he is undone. All of his vows to live for the Lord are overthrown and he is held captive by her sexuality and his lust.

But she is married. Not only that, she is married to one of his 'mighty men', Uriah the Hittite. Uriah is no ordinary warrior. He is a Hittite. He shouldn't even exist. Centuries before, God had commanded the Israelites to go into Canaan and utterly destroy those who dwelt there. The Hittites dwelt there. But Israel did not carry out that command and they allowed some of the Hittites to remain in the promised land. Thus the existence of Uriah.

Uriah the inexplicable. His bore a Hebrew name meaning "The Lord is My Light." He is listed in 1 Chronicles 11:47 and 2nd Samuel 23:39 as one of David's mighty men. He's in the inner circle of those that David trusts with his life. He had sworn fealty to David the King. To be loyal to him and to do battle for him. To help David be the victorious one. God had made that same promise to David when he was a boy and anointed him King.

Yet these promises and relationships faded into a fog of nothingness in David's mind as he squashed his relationship with the one true God for what was meant to be a one night stand with a beautiful woman. He minimized his relationship and his friendship with Uriah, the Lord is my Light, as he plotted and planned to have her in spite of every obstacle.

Who would know? It wouldn't matter. He would have his way with her and send her home. Uriah was away. He would never discover the truth.

But that one night of guilty and sinful pleasure resulted in a pregnancy... What should have been a welcome and happy occurrence in a marriage became evidence of sin and wrong doing for Bathsheba and David.

He was guilty and now the whole world would know that King David was faithless and weak.

Like Adam and Eve in the garden, hiding from God, David begins to plot and plan how to cover his sin. He orders Uriah home from the battle upon the pretense of obtaining a military report and tells him to go home and be with his wife. If Uriah lies with her, then he will think that the child is his own and David's secret will be safe.

But Uriah, the faithful warrior, refuses to accept the comfort and luxury of his home and bed while his God and his men are at war. He said to David, "The ark, and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing." (2nd Samuel 11:11)

Stalwart Uriah! Loyal Uriah! He stood firm against a temptation that must have been almost overwhelming to him. To be at home with his wife if even only for a short time would be a welcome and unexpected respite from the discomfort of camp and peril of battle.

He was truly a mighty man. He was living up to his name, the Lord is my Light.

And David was stopped in his tracks by this mighty man....Caught in his sin by this descendant of pagans who now worshipped the Lord.

Perplexed and anxious, he fills Uriah with food and drink, figuring that if he is in a drunken state that his resolve will melt away and he will give in. That he will just go home and do the thing with Bathsheba. In David's thinking, there's no way that Uriah would be able to stand with drunken wobbly legs on what David believes is shaky moral ground. In David's thinking, he was underestimating Uriah and trying to bring him down to his own level. David feels that he can influence The Lord is my Light and use him to cover up his wrongdoing.

David forgot one thing. The Light of the Lord sheds light on our sin. It will never be used to cover our sin up as if it doesn't exist. The Light of the Lord exists to expose sin.

Of course, Uriah did not comply with David's plans. Somehow his inebriated mind retained some shred of strength and he fell asleep with the servants. He didn't go home to Bathsheba.

In David's state of forgetfulness and in his frantic efforts to cover his sin, he loses any small bit of righteousness and sanity left to him and orders Uriah back to the heat of battle. He orders him to the front where he is sure to be killed. Uriah is slain by the enemy and by the order of King David, "a man after God's own heart".

Rather than face the consequences and beg forgiveness of his friend and his Lord, David had become a murderer. David killed the "The Lord is My Light". He made sure there was no way that The Light could be focused on his sin.

But the mighty David had fallen. Not by a sword or an arrow... Not by the small river washed stone from a slingshot... Not by poison or garrote. He fell from great heights and power by his own failure to do what God had told him to do... to be what God told him to be. He fell by his own hand. He may as well have attempted spiritual suicide.

Though Uriah was gone, his death shed the Light even more powerfully over David. His actions and his sin could not be hidden from God. His relationship with his God was broken and gasping for breath.

David knew that the Lord was displeased with him.

In time, the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to confront him and accuse him. "Why have you despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon . 'Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.' (2nd Samuel 12: 9-10)

When God spoke these words (through Nathan), David could no longer keep up the facade of innocence and he confessed to Nathan "I have sinned against the Lord!" and Nathan said to David "The Lord has taken away your sin. You shall not die." (2nd Samuel 12: 13) "However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die." (2nd Samuel 12:14)

God forgave David the sins of adultery and murder. There were dire consequences to come, but the sin was not held against him. Although his reputation was damaged and his people had seen him fall, David could start anew with a restored conscience and relationship with his Lord.

As Christians, we can think or believe we are so close to God that He won't mind if we take a break, a little R&R from Christianity so to speak. We get comfortable in our relationship with Him and take for granted our status as His precious and privileged children. Maybe we are weary of the constant battles in life and like David, we see something or someone and think that we deserve a little pleasure or fun. After all, it won't hurt anybody. We deliberately sin. Then we try to cover it up. We make every effort to kill and silence our guilty conscience... our Uriah. We make excuses. We try to justify our actions and some times we even use holy scripture to do so. Failing at that, we put a distance between ourselves and our God and eventually our relationship with Him is in tatters and we are living a life where we don't welcome God's Light.

Thank God for this story of Uriah and his moral strength. Thank God for showing us that even those we see as the most spiritual and most righteous can fall. When we think that our relationship with God is so close that "I would never do this.... There's no way." we should thank God for this warning that we must ALWAYS beware of the devil crouching at our door waiting for the chance to trip us up. None of us should become so sure of ourselves that we think there is no way we could give in to life's temptations or that we will not be held accountable if we do. We should keep our "Uriah" close to heart as a constant reminder to take a stand for our faith. Be quick to confess our wrongdoing and swift to set things right.

Thank You God for allowing us the opportunity to ask forgiveness when we fall. Though we may have consequences to our sin, we have forgiveness and a new beginning through Jesus.