Saturday, August 4, 2012

True Story

This really is a true story.

In the last few years, I have gone through several stages and changes in my life. God changed my life drastically! For 2 years it was like a honeymoon with Jesus and then...My church family fell apart, My children had consequential situations to deal with and my prayers for them went up continuously. My marriage of 34 years fell apart and I am now divorced. I've been single for almost 3 years now.

These are not unusual circumstances. It happens to everyone in every walk of life. It's life. Jesus said "In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world."

But it is my life. Personal. Intimate. Affecting me. Tearing me apart. Breaking my heart and mind and spirit.

Through all of it, I have believed God's promises and trusted Him. Asked Him to intervene. Asked Him to change things. Asked and begged Him to restore things. Asked Him to use the tribulations in my life in some manner.

Right now, I am at peace. I am at a place where there is nothing drastic or traumatic or earth shattering going on. And I am glad of it. Hopefully, it is a place where God will help me to learn and understand the things I have been through. A friend recently told me that I was on the Injured Reserve list. A place of healing where God can call me up from at any moment.

And I think He is doing that.

God blessed me so tremendously last week by allowing me to share with someone who is going through similar life shattering circumstances. I won't disclose details or names, but someone that I would never have dreamed that I could have ministered to in any way. When asked, "is there hope?" I was able to say YES. When asked "what did you do? how did you deal with it?" I was able to share how I trusted God and how God has come through over and over again.

I am not super christian. I have had my days of doubt and my days of unbelief. But through it all, I have never once questioned if God was working in it. I have just questioned the reason, the method, the seemingly undeserved pain. The delay of the vision God gave to me of a ministry.

God is always at work. And He is more interested in helping us discover who He is in us than who we are in Him. When we start trying to figure out who "I am in Christ" we put ourselves first and make ourselves the I AM and we lose out.. God is the great I AM. We are not. We need to figure out who HE IS in us. The power that He can work in us. The fruits of the spirit that only HE plants and grows and harvests. In His time. His season.

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